light me up

Some of them want to use you / Some of them want to get used by you / Some of them want to abuse you / Some of them want to be abused

both these boys have fucked up personalities and pasts; yeah Vizaeth wants to be with Rhylfein, but he also wants Rhylfein to hurt him the way he's used to being hurt. It's okay Rhyl; he likes it.

Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?

the fact that Rhylfein actively flirted with him and sought him out makes Vizaeth extremely confused

It's only just a crush, it'll go away / It's just like all the others it'll go away / Or maybe this is danger and you just don't know / You pray it all away but it continues to grow

Vizaeth was conviiiiinced that he'd get over the flicker of attraction he had to Rhylfein, that he could just shove it down - turns out, he could not. Couldn't pray the gay away, or get Pharaun to fuck it out of him either 💜

You and me could write a bad romance

And oh, it makes me feel so right / Slip into the dark with our violent minds

two violent boys who can't stay away from one another, clashing and committing crimes against fellow students. also 'gonna lose my gold stars' fits with Vizaeth always feeling like being with Rhyl is cheating on Pharaun.

Your eyes like rubies, supernatural cocky

this whole song feels like their sexual tension, but this line in particular just screams Rhylfein. cocky, attractive asshole that he is.

Take my arm, break it in half / Say something, do it soon / It's too quiet in this room

Vizaeth needs sensation and pain; Rhylfein is also a fan of blood and hurting, as it turns out. The fact that Rhyl is meant to keep his body pristine for Lichdrow Dyrr to use eventually ties into that; if he could get some fucked up scars, he'd love it.

Bad, bad news / One of us is gonna lose / I'm the powder, you're the fuse / Just add some friction

They really are powder and fuse to one another. That spark was inevitable. And no-one really gets what they see in each other apart from each other.

Pressure building up inside my chest / You pulled the stitches out again / I feel the feelings creeping in / You got me raw raw

Vizaeth is somewhat resentful of the fact that Rhylfein is able to strip him emotionally bare as often as he does. Feeling things - real things - is difficult for him. He doesn't want to look at the inside of himself like that.

Put me together one more time / Love me forever, fix me right

Vizaeth is desperate for someone to fix him, whether he's consciously aware of it or not. If Rhylfein just touches him right, maybe he can be a real boy.

Oh, I know that boy's gonna rip me up / 'Cause he ain't that nice, he won't do right / He'll leave a nasty cut

Rhylfein is bad news; he's not a good person, he's just less of a manipulative fuck than Pharaun. Things between them have a very very very slim chance of ending in something other than heartbreak. On some level, Vizaeth knows this. And Rhylfein knows full-well that getting involved with Vizaeth is a recipe for pain, physical and emotional.

Show me how you like it done / You're all mine

this one is more from Rhylfein's POV - he's attracted to Vizaeth and wants to sleep with him; whether it goes deeper than that (if it ever could) is forever up for debate.

See your eyes in a darkened room / Look at mine, see where your thoughts stray to / 'Cause I get chills every time that you / Almost touch me

Rhylfein feels like a constant temptation to Vizaeth, and their flirting was so much fun to play with. Vizaeth is extremely fun to rile up - for me and for Rhylfein.

I wanna get naked with you / I wanna see what you can do

Touch me, yeah / I want you to touch me there / Make me feel like I am breathing / Feel like I am human

this song has vibes of cheating and also the kind of sex Viz often wants with Rhylfein - the kind that makes him feel alive, as opposed to the kind with Pharaun, which makes him feel holy and dead.

Don't say it's unholy / If I let you come hold me

Vizaeth can't have a relationship without involving his religion - and the religion of his heart and bed is Pharaun. He sees being with Rhylfein as not just cheating but making him apostate; but he also can't resist.

And I, I don't know why you love me / I'm a danger to myself

Vizaeth really doesn't know why Rhylfein likes him, why he wants him. He enjoys being wanted but he is vaguely aware that he's a ruin and a mess and a nightmare. Why the fuck does Rhylfein care about him at all?

Tell me who I’m supposed to be now / Make me better / I can’t stay halfway dead forever

Vizaeth is technically a corpse, sort of, and he's been starting to want to move on, to actually live, and Rhylfein makes him feel alive and like he can stand up for himself - which is all very unsettling and frightening.

So much of our lives / Is just carving through the dark / To get so far / And the hardest part / Is who we are

listening to this and thinking about them makes me cry. they can't escape who they are, what they are: tools and toys for other drow to use and abuse. trying to have anything for themselves is an exercise in futility, so they cling to one another in the dark; this song makes me think of those quiet moments after they've fucked, lying in the shadows, pretending for five minutes that this is something that can really exist without horror.

Of all the things you fuck, I'm the most empty / And no, blood for you will ever be enough

i believe this was a fox suggestion, and it really pulls out the messy, fucked up nature of both boys. they're both ruined in their own ways, both keen to sink their teeth into other people. this particular line fits either way, i think.

I'm tired of the dirt and grit / I want something soft

this song just captures Vizaeth's exhaustion with Pharaun and how he's been hurt and drained, how his meagre attempts at escaping Pharaun's pull just didn't work. A part of him wants to stop, wants something softer, safer; something more like Rhylfein, where they're almost equal. Where he's not just a toy.