A young student’s obsession with his demonology teacher sparks a twisted romance that draws him to the limits of his humanity—and into the web of an eldritch horror.
Imagine me and you, I do / I think about you day and night
The cover version of this makes it sound obsessive and gritty, which is exactly the Vibe of this story.
This may become a little brutal If I'm honest / But it's any-anything for you my dear, I promise
Vivien stalker-coded song. He can, has, and will kill people to keep Rainier.
Bitch, I am one, throw a tantrum
Vivien is a huge bitch with piss-poor emotional regulation 🖤
My brain is poisonous / My body is a mess / My heart is hazardous
Welcome to song part one of Vivien's internal state. Screaming and distorted vocals is just the inside of his brain constantly
I wanna feel a side effect, I wanna be a victim / Double the dosage, I’m swallowing symptoms
Hey, Vivien, how's that ichor-infused testosterone going for you? Also - wanting to take something to feel something, make something change: big thing for our boy.
My only shreds of humanity are pain and fear / That I will never feel alive
Vivien half thinks he's dead - or that he's his brother, who is also dead. He's got a dubious relationship to being alive.
Can you see me now / You've not been looking hard enough / I won't be silent anymore / Sometimes I hate this body
it's about the trans angst of it all
You can tell me what you want, now don’t be shy / I know you like to open up your darker side / Let me be the one to give you what you like
our first Rainier song! his ego isn't the only thing that's big~
I'm addicted to you / Don't you know that you're toxic?
another dark cover that slides the original into wicked claws territory. Vivien/Rainier are the Most toxic - and also Rainier does end up literally addicted to Vivien in a way so. double points!
And fuck like a demon / Do it like nothin' / I am disgusting / I've been corrupted / And by now I don't need no help to be / destructive
it's got demons and corruption and fucked up love all the way through, what else can i say? 'I don't need no help to be destructive' no Vivien, no you don't.
aMy heart has teeth, my heart has teeth / And it's looking for something to eat
all the love in this book is destructive and devouring
Believe that though we never eat / We still know how to feed / We still know how to bleed
this part is about Arachnis/demons in general
Sugar, I've developed a taste for you
and this part is how Rainier feels about Vivien. hungry. needy. addicted.
And I don't think I can stop the jealousy / When it runs, it burns like lightning through my teeth
Vivien, it must be said, has something of a jealousy issue when it comes to Rainier. And he cannot manage his own emotions enough to deal with it in anything resembling a healthy manner.
Come on, come on / You know I'm barely hanging on / Come on, come on / Throw my head against the wall
another jealousy song! and the way that Vivien so often takes his violent feelings out on himself as well as other people
i scare myself sometimes / i almost took my life / now look who’s got the knife
Vivien's mental health is Perhaps and he's making it everyone else's problem
Hеllo, Alice, are you therе? / Can you tell me where we're going?
ngl, this one's mostly on here because Alice is a secondary character and the opportunity for a song referencing an Alice and also talking about drugs was too good to pass up. In my mind, in-universe she likes this song.
I got worms in my brain and Got a colony of ants underneath my skin
because the demons are all insect-y themed, and there are 100% spiders in Viv's brain. this has that Vibe.
You should have raised a baby girl / I should have been a better son
need i say more.
Getting you off is my new favorite hobby
the fairytale sort of sound to this and the degeneration from meeting to murder makes this song fit into Vivien's way of seeing the world.
And if you leave me / Rest assured, it would kill me
Vivien latching onto Rainier so hard that the idea of not having him feels like it will cause his death
You're in my heart, in my heart, in my head
You know the games I play / And the words I say / When I want my own way
it's about how Vivien is a fucked up mess
Heart full of spiders, legs made of gummy / Who do I have to kill to make everybody love me? / I want it, I'll win it, call it ambitious
the vibe and the violence is Vivien; the ambition is Rainier
There will be blood, you're gonna die / You'll never make it, never make it through the night
there will, in fact, be blood in this book. a lot of it, in fact.
And if I was God, I'd kill the people who believe in me / And if I was God, I'd make everybody bow to me / And who says that I’m not God? I am God to me
Another Rainier song at last! the ego on this man, honestly.
All my life, oh-oh, all my life / I hurt myself and cut myself / Put myself through living hell
the Vivien self harm song ft 'Rainier cut the bad out of me and make me a real person'
Put me together, thread a needle / So I'm like other people, without all of the evil / I'm trying to be normal, but trauma is immortal
once again - Vivien does Not feel like a Real Person except when he's around Rainier
Bring me your desire, I can cure your disease / If you were a sinner, I could make you believe / Lay you down like one, two, three / Eyes roll back in ecstasy
when she dropped this song believe me when i say i RAN to put it on this playlist. the disease of desire and also the infection of Pacted corruption. oh. it's so tasty.
The medicine does not control me / I control the medicine
Vivien's medicine is just his T and also demonic ichor. (he does not control either)
I ate your body, ate your mind / One hit of me will make you mine
have i mentioned that Vivien and Rainier's love is an addictive, toxic mess of a thing?
It takes two to toxic
My doctors can't explain / My symptoms or my pain / But you are my strange addiction
there is currently a scene where Rainier literally goes to a doctor like 'what's wrong with me i can't stop thinking about this guy' and she's like 'have you considered you're in love with him?' and he's like 'sounds fake but okay.'
Way down we go / To the dark room / Where your pain's the only one to greet you
this song has big Arachnis talking to Vivien energy
Ooh, our skin connects and makes a shrine / Ooh, can't kill my carnal side
there's a lot of sex in this book and for Vivien, every time is basically a religious experience
Say something, do it soon / It's too quiet in this room
kinda Rainier, constantly sensation-seeking, for pleasure and then for inflicting pain on Vivien. Kinda Vivien, with needing stimulation, with the silence in his mind buzz buzzing like Arachnis in his veins.
You must like being the victim / You've done nothing to get out
Vivien as victim and Vivien as villain. Rainier doesn't beat him but even if he did Vivien would let it happen like he lets everything happen if Rainier does it.
The less you give to me, the more I want it
the kind of beat that Alice plays at her club, and also Vivien being desperate about Rainier. again.
Push me down to my knees / And take me where the dark things are
make a Pact with a demon. what could possibly go wrong?
You're not human anymore / Crack in the seams / You're breaking through
ftm in this case means ftmonster
Last night I found you wet / I was dry but you pulled me in
oh hey that's the main guy! Vivien pulling Rainier into his ichor-filled heart
I'll fucking digest you one kiss at a time / You wish I was yours and I hope that you're mine
My whole existence is flawed / You get me closer to God
god in this case being Rainier anyway, to Vivien.
Your blood drool attracts the flies
this is more vibes than lyrics; the visual of it, the viscera of it
Simple as this: I'm in love with the risk / I know what I've done, but tell me what did I miss
this line is particularly a Rainier mood, but the sex and desperation of the whole song (plus the cannibalism of the MV) just Hit Correctly for the mood of the book.
Symbols and sigils, I saw the signs / Rats in the sewers, death on the mind / I've set my sights on you, baby, you're mine
Vivien, receiving messages from a literal demon: I Understand. I Need To Fuck My Demonology Professor.
I'll be the king of it, the queen of it / The god of it, all of it / I'll eat your heart after I lick it clean
half Rainier, half Vivien - he'll be the god of it, Vivien will eat his heart. Metaphorically. Mostly.
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies/ So I don't know what's real and what's not
Vivien has some issues with lies and sense of self and the reality of his identity.
I want to mix our blood / And put it in the ground / So you can never leave
this specific remix has the right tone for the feel of the book; this set of lines is just Vivien being a weird fucking nightmare boy about Rainier. He does want to mix their blood and put it in the ground so Rainier can never leave! He'll do whatever it takes to keep his man!! Up to and including multiple homicides!
Your eyes will I ever / My heart will I learn / You're gone / The days decay
this one's for Vivien and his dead brother. the ghostly feel of it fits the grief, the languishing pain of loss.
And I watched a change in you / It's like you never had wings / Now you feel so alive / I've watched you change
Vivien goes through some changes in this book. So does Rainier, but Vivien's are a little more...unsettling.
Every once in a while, something changes / And she's changing me / It's too late for me now, I am altered / There is something beneath
This one is Vivien and Arachnis' relationship. If you can call it a relationship. Connection. Infection. Worship.
I'm gonna be where you are / Doesn't matter how far / Because we are meant to be / I'm gonna be what you need
If you’re asking, I can’t say no / Just one more chapter / Our book won’t close
more of a Rainier and Wolfe song than anything else, but matches and paper dolls is very much how Vivien and Rainier's whole deal goes down. (or up in smoke, more accurately)
Ah-oh, true love is violent
Crumble like a temple built from future daughters
i always personally interpret this song as a suicide attempt, which is a thing Vivien does in the book and has done before. This particular line, when attached to Vivien, has a trans nature to it that hits quite hard for me.
Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you / I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying / And I'm crazy for loving you
Digital Daggers cover specifically because they have a talent for making love songs sound melancholy and a little unhinged
Oh love, love is the disaster / We're always running towards / Oh love, love's the only monster / We greet with open arms
have i talked about how this book is about destructive love that ruins your life? love makes monsters of us all etc etc
From the start, they knew you were wrong / You were wrong
whenever i listen to this song and thing about Vivien's backstory i pretty much cry every time
Is it love or obsession? / Does it all turn to pain?
it's the title track! the song i always come back to for Vibes to remind me how i want this book to feel. thank you miss petras for your service.